Chop Wood, Carry Water: Back to the Basics
This week, a client reminded me of the concept of an ambiguous threat (thank you, G)—which perfectly describes what many of us are experiencing right now. We are watching as new policies and rhetoric actively make life harder for trans people, with threats of even more to come. We don’t know exactly what will happen, but we do know that those in power are willing to try anything.
There is a particular kind of exhaustion that comes from living under this kind of uncertainty. I hear it from clients, friends, and family—a feeling of swimming through mud, pushing forward with no solid ground to stand on and a weight making every movement harder. Some have already started making plans to leave the country. I have cried every day this week.
When we don’t know what’s coming, our nervous systems go into overdrive. Even a bad outcome can feel easier than waiting for an answer—because at least then, we can process and move forward. The chronic stress of not knowing takes a toll on our bodies, emotions, and spirits. And right now, for trans people and our community, that toll is immense.
So what do we do?
We go back to the basics.
We chop wood, carry water.
Stick to the Basics
Right now, it is vital to commit—every single day—to caring for yourself. This is how we resist. This is how we endure. The world may be telling us we aren’t deserving of care, but by nourishing ourselves, we claim our worth.
Stick to a routine. Structure anchors us when everything feels chaotic.
Eat regular, nourishing meals. Your body needs fuel to sustain you through stress.
Move your body. Exercise, dance, stretch—anything that connects you to yourself physically.
Prioritize sleep. A consistent sleep schedule is one of the most powerful tools for resilience.
Seek joy and pleasure. Chase what lights you up, and don’t let them dim your spark. This might not seem like a “back to the basics” necessity, but it absolutely is. Joy is not a luxury—it’s a vital part of our survival. Connecting to what makes us feel alive reaffirms our worth and strengthens our resilience.
Find Release Through Movement
So much of what we’re experiencing is held in our bodies. The grief, the fear, the rage—it all lives within us, and it needs a way out. Movement is not just about physical health; it’s about emotional release and self-empowerment. Whether it’s running, lifting weights, yoga, or simply shaking it out, moving our bodies allows us to feel and release what we’re carrying.
Taking care of ourselves is not just an act of survival—it’s an act of defiance. In a world that seeks to erase us, our commitment to our well-being is revolutionary.
Regulate Your Nervous System
Throughout the day, find moments to pause and regulate your nervous system. Take slow, deep breaths to signal to your brain and body that you are not under immediate threat. Place a hand on your heart and offer yourself words of comfort, such as:
"It makes sense that you’re feeling stressed—there’s a lot of uncertainty and fear right now. But in this moment, you are safe."
As you breathe deeply, let your body absorb this reassurance.
The vagus nerve reset is another simple yet powerful tool to incorporate into your routine. Anytime you feel tension building, take a moment to reset your vagus nerve for quick relief (video below—there are many other ways to do it, check youtube for other options). Activities like humming, singing, and gargling also help strengthen the vagus nerve, supporting long-term nervous system regulation and resilience.
Reach out for support when you need it. And remember: we are in this together.
If this resonates with you, I invite you to share it with someone who might need it. My hope is that, together, we can navigate this time with care, strength, and solidarity.
