Reclaiming Our Value: Resisting Negative Messages and Embracing Our Worth
Right now, trans and non-binary people are being inundated with harmful narratives and policies designed to make us question our worth. It’s easy to internalize these messages, especially when they are so pervasive. But we don’t have to. We have the power to anchor ourselves in our inherent value and resist the forces that try to erode our self-worth.
One of the most effective ways to do this is through belief rewiring. Thais Gibson’s Integrated Attachment Theory (IAT) teaches us how to challenge and shift negative core beliefs by seeking real-world evidence to support more empowering narratives. This week, I want to guide you in using this technique to reinforce your value and self-worth, even in the face of relentless negativity.
Looking for Concrete Proof of Your Worth
Our minds naturally seek confirmation for what we believe, which means if we don’t consciously challenge negative messaging, we might start believing it. One way to counteract this is by actively gathering evidence of our value in different areas of life:
Career & Purpose: Have you helped a coworker? Done meaningful activism? Expressed yourself authentically in your work?
Financial Well-being: Have you managed money wisely, supported a friend, or been resourceful in tough times?
Physical Health & Well-being: Have you cared for your body with rest, movement, or nourishment? Prioritized mental health?
Relationships & Social Life: Have you supported a friend, shown kindness, or connected meaningfully with someone?
Spiritual & Personal Growth: Have you learned something new, deepened self-awareness, or shown resilience?
Mental & Learning: Have you explored new ideas, challenged a limiting belief, or deepened your understanding of yourself or the world? Maybe you’ve taken up a new skill or hobby?
Emotional & Psychological Growth: Have you processed emotions, set boundaries, or shown yourself compassion?
Fun & Recreation: Have you created, laughed, or enjoyed something that brought you joy?
Start by writing as many examples as you can in each category. If you don’t have any examples in some categories, that is ok, just move on to the next. Each day, review your list and write down at least one new example of how you show up with value in these areas. By consciously shifting focus toward our strengths, we start to reshape the internal narratives that oppressive systems try to impose on us.
Protecting Your Mind at Its Most Vulnerable Times
The times when we are most suggestible—right after waking up and right before sleep—are critical moments for shaping our beliefs. If we start and end our day with distressing news or transphobic rhetoric, those messages sink deeper into our subconscious. Instead, consider these alternatives:
Morning: Start your day with affirmations, a gratitude list, or reading something uplifting.
Evening: Reflect on positive moments from the day, listen to calming music, or do a short meditation focused on self-worth.
The Power of Community Connection
You do not have to navigate this alone. Connecting with other trans and non-binary people who affirm your experiences is essential. Whether it’s in-person meetups, online communities, or even one trusted friend, surrounding yourself with support helps counteract isolation and negativity.
Feeling and Releasing Emotions
Anger, grief, sadness, and fear are natural responses to the current climate. Instead of suppressing these emotions, find ways to release them in a healthy way:
Journal about what you’re feeling.
Engage in physical movement (even a short walk helps).
Scream into a pillow, punch a punching bag, or do expressive art.
Talk to someone who gets it.
By allowing emotions to move through us, we prevent them from becoming stuck and turning into shame or hopelessness.
You Are Valuable. Always.
No government, no law, no hateful rhetoric can change the fundamental truth of your worth. If you take nothing else from this, remember: You are valuable, you are needed, and you are not alone.
In solidarity.
